I have a few things to say. Some you may agree with, but a lot I know you won't get or understand. I'm all for the right to speak your mind..but listen, but a "No Fat Chicks" window decal the size of a basketball on your truck is a step too far. I've yet to see a "No Assholes With Complexes" sticker on anyone else's. I'm sick to death of the term "pretty" being categorized as "small" or "physically fit" and that it cannot exist outside of those superficial, subjective, and demanding aspects. I'm sick of the commentary of how "pretty" someone is based on how tight the jeans fit, or how flat the stomach is. I'm sick of a lot of things, Society. And today's your lucky day, because you're about to hear about them all.
Let's start with the subjective term of pretty. You ask a girl what is pretty and she'll give you a answer that typically sounds like the most non-descriptive, vague line of bullshit you've ever heard. Why? Because we are conditioned to think that what OTHER people think "pretty" is is what really matters, NOT what we think it is. We are conditioned to believe that beauty is changing yourself in ways that we call "bettering", and that it's limited to how dedicated you are, or how persistent in a lot of cases, to being what is accepted and admired by everyone else. You'll find a lot of women who'll say that they don't care what other people think about what they look like; that they love themselves and that's all that matters. But let's get real, ladies...we want other people to love us too. And in most cases, we find little things that "please" them and go with it. Maybe your boyfriend likes your hair long, so you keep it longer. Tell yourself you like it too. It's all a blurry line when it comes to acceptance, of yourself and of others. The limitations are so very easily crossed that we never really stop to wonder..why aren't I able to be comfortable and do as I please without fear of myself or others?
Women are not alone in the inability to truly define the word "pretty", because most guys have no clear picture on it either. They view the status quo as whatever is pretty this month. Maybe it's blondes with fake boobs, maybe it's thin girls with no boobs. But what I will say is that men, UNLIKE women, don't let themselves be cultivated for harvesting of their self-esteem. They aren't in need of other men's acceptance. They rarely even think about what other men might think of them (unless they are gay and that's the genre they are looking for acceptance from), and you might wonder why that is. I know I did. The truth is simple, they accept themselves as whatever they want to be. Want to look like a pro wrestler? Then that's what they aim for. Want to look like Drew Carey in his early years? No problem, they'll work towards it. But us ladies, we are ever-changing ourselves for acceptance. We can't pick one field and stick in it, we move with the seasons, if not the months themselves.
But I digress, because it's not necessarily about who or what you want to be and how you go about getting to it, it's about WHY you want to be that person, and that is genderless. Men, women, children, we all strive for wanting someone else to want us. Remarkably, we will do damn near anything to get that notice, women will diet until they fall apart emotionally, mentally, or in many cases physically. Men will posture and kill themselves to provide what they think women want of them. Here's the problem with all that nonsense, absolutely NO ONE is really honest anymore.
Back to my friend with the "No Fat Chicks" sticker..what's your issue? Are you short and feel like you're already at the end of the "handsome" in this case pile because women view you as some little boy? Or are you the stereotypical buffed out masculine marble-cut man that attracts women who are desperate to be noticed by other women, and in some cases, by other men? Or are you just the average joe, who isn't seen unless he makes a huge statement (like the window decal) because you're forgettable, and invisible to the rest of the world. Truly, whatever your issues are the fact is clear, if you feel the need to bash someones "pretty" nature be them skinny girls or big girls, you have a deep issue within yourself to work out. And while the gorgeous size nine blonde is in your lap, you think about what she'll think of you once YOUR clothes are off. Maybe you'll be less interested in attacking someone who could actually relate to your obvious imperfections.
Admittedly, we are all guilty in some way of "liking" someone else because of a superficial reason. Just as easily said, we are guilty of obtaining praise through attempts to be noticed when we lose weight, change our hair color, dress in a specific way, etc. It's human nature to want to be noticed and admired. It's in our genes for the rest of the world to be interested in us, and even more so now as a great majority have set themselves aside and we slide into our own micro-worlds where no one else exists. Personally speaking, I think we do this because we are afraid of the rejection that so many still have locked and loaded, ready to shoot our way. I know I am.
In other rants I've called to women (and men) to stand up for themselves and break the mold that is "common", to not disregard each other based on dress size or pant size, that big girls are pretty too. But this isn't a statement that needs support; we all know it's true whether we admit to it outwardly or not. This is a rant about acceptance. About learning to see those people with window clings, and diverted eyes in grocery stores or restaurants, and making it clear to ourselves if only internally, that we are truly not responsible for the acceptance of someone who cannot accept the rest of the world. We are not responsible for being held to someone else's pretty standards, because in all actuality they too have no idea what it really means.
..and as a closing thought I offer you this people who don't like bigger girls, when you get exhausted from wishing someone would accept and love you for who you are and what you are, be it heavy or thin, and when you are tired of being on display for someone else, or constantly wondering if they are on display elsewhere instead..remember that truly seeing someone means you understand them, and no one..NO ONE understands rejection and hurt more than the bigger girls.
